Looking For Light

Today I had the most amazing experience. I must choose my words carefully if meaning is to be conveyed in the deepest sense. 

She is my granddaughter. She is getting baptized.  I said to her as we held hands and walked from the car to the temple, "Do you know something Ali?" 

"No Grandma, what?" She replied. I went on to tell her how I became a photographer. "When your Aunt Desi got on the bus to go to Kindergarten, almost fifteen years ago. . .  I said to myself as the bus drove away, ""There goes my job."" Then I went on to explain how I dried all my tears and went out that very day and bought the best film camera Nikon made. "Do you know why I bought a camera, Ali" I asked intently. She looked up at me. "Why did you buy a camera grandma?" Her eyes were focused on me now as we walked, making our way closer to the temple. Just one reason Als, "So I could take your picture when you came to earth! I knew you'd be coming and I couldn't wait to meet you and take your picture!" A big grin broke out consuming her face! Then I went on to tell her how taking her picture is better than sliced bread and bubble gum! She knows I love bubble gum, and she herself loves sliced bread! I could see every missing tooth now. It was evident in her broad smile she clearly understood. 

As we walked, I fumbled with my words. I was trying to pick a vocabulary an 8 year old would understand. I wanted to choose just the right noun, adjective, and verb that came from my soul, thoughts that formed simple words that would penetrate her heart and leave her with the secure knowledge that I love her more than life itself!

I'm a perfectionist. As we got to the front of the temple, I started taking her picture. Immediately I noticed the light was hard and flat. Light is everything to a photograph. Heck, light is everything to everything! Besides, I am fascinated with light. My soul thrives off it. My photography depends on it. When I go for long periods of time without light I get down right depressed. Yet when it's present, my soul comes alive with a joy I can scarcely contain. Light always lifts me. Darkness is not the opposite of light. Darkness is the absence of light, for where there is light, there can be no darkness. Darkness cannot cast out light! Light can always overcome darkness. Now here I was with my beautiful granddaughter and I thought the light was terrible. It was to far away in the sky and it was making me frustrated. With every snap of my camera I was looking for it and I was struggling to find it. A photographer loves the golden hours, the sun coming up with it's rays shooting horizontally, the sun going down; that precious hour just before it sets. I had neither.

We wandered all over the temple grounds she and I. Me snapping away looking for the light. After taking a billion pictures a thought hit me. I said to Ali, "Let's go inside the temple." I remembered the Atrium downstairs. I knew the light would be perfect there. She was excited. She had never seen the Atrium. We quickly went inside and made our way down the marble staircase.

As soon as she saw the beautiful round garden contained inside the glass, she walked up to see all the colorful flowers and the beautiful autumn tree contained in its center. The Atrium is wide open to the sky and as she got closer to the glass an amazing thing happened. Alison's reflection caught by the light appeared so strong it looked like there were two of her. Alison stood on the outside of the glass and amazingly her mirror image stood on the inside looking back. It was beautiful and symbolic.

I couldn't get my camera pointed at her fast enough. I saw that tender soul like image reflected and immediately began to capture it. Suddenly Ali got the sweetest expression on her face as she gently lifted her hand. I was filled with emotion. "Alison," I said. "It's like your spirit." 

As we talked the light was moving. Light never stands still. As the light left the place we were standing, the little girl inside the glass left with it. As we moved closer to where the light had moved, that sweet transparent face, with all it's curls, would magically appear time and time again.

Tell me there's not a lesson in that! I talked to Ali about her spirit. I told her about its pure and infinite worth. We talked about the light it needs to grow and become strong and how every choice she will make will affect how intensely she feels that life giving light. We talked about her baptism, about being washed clean. We talked about the importance of her choice to follow our Savior Jesus Christ and how that choice alone brings tremendous light! Then I gave a grandmother's wisdom. "Take care of that little girl in the glass Ali! Promise me you'll make good choices for her. Tend to her, watch over her and protect her. She will be with you your whole life through. Give her the light of Christ daily in every single thing you do, so her image in you will always be bright and strong!

Moments like this don't come any finer. What a blessing it is to be a grandmother. It was a beautiful day and in the end I found that beautiful light I was looking for! Light is like a lot of other things in life. It's always right where you never think to look! Silly me! I'm so glad I found it!